Category: Health


Contemplation

Snow Contemplation : Bellevue

Took a long walk on the cross-country trails in the early afternoon. My head felt cloudy – unlike the skies which were clear and blue and beautiful. I am fascinated that even on a sunny day, I still have dark shadows that chase my sense of happiness and security. Surely, they are an illusion – but one that shackles the ankles and begs me to pay attention, to source the cause, to unravel the mysteries that complicate my space.

Snow Bench

The snow was still. Not one person walked the path or appeared on distant horizons. The sounds of a light wind ruffled through the quiescent birch trees : surely, winter at its best, although this one in Idaho, one of the mildest that anyone can remember.

It was the act of stopping the walk, of recognizing the tempting bench half hidden in snow and empty tree grove that drew me to the quiet place. I pulled off hat and gloves and sat, a witness to what was before me. A tall set of mountains. A wide valley – in the summer, ripe with grain – now covered in snow as if a modified sea of white.

Whatever I had held – breath, tightness, fears – slowly began to dissipate as the vastness of all life – the interconnectedness – once again filled the corners of my mind.

I wasn’t really alone. I was surrounded by life, by love, by the energy that infuses the seed, the leaf, and my own hair follicles. Whatever had troubled me slipped into the snow drifts, and left me knowing that I was okay. Still here. Still breathing. Still able to make conscious decisions and put my feet on yet another step of their constantly chosen path.

Dad at 85

I visited my dad yesterday.  I hadn’t seen him in two years – a series of inter-family events caused a fall-out that I had thought was irreparable.  I kept tabs on him from afar, but kept myself removed – and in my mind – safe.

His face visibly brightened as he worked to stand from the green leather chair that is both his viewing/phoning/reading location, as well as where he sleeps. He eschewed a bed a long time ago.  Now, with backaches that never end, I can’t help but wonder if the constant sitting isn’t one of the causes.  Another round of surgeries is scheduled for Friday.  I wish he’d stop letting the doctors cut into him, but he has always had his own mind and listens only to what he wants to hear.  In this case, doctors again telling him that they can fix something that he wants changed.

Without a nod to dad, I admit a bias against anyone who thinks that someone else can ‘fix’ them – when they take little or not attempts to help themselves.  I’ve followed a healthy diet and exercise regime most all of my life.  I think that feeds the health that I am lucky enough to claim, although it’s not just luck, but planning and self-care.

Backaches seem common to anyone over 60.  Years of lifting, carting, moving take their toll on the skeletal structure.  For me, the only way to stave off the crinkiness – or at least give it some balance – has been the practice of yoga.  Letting the body find its own shape, twisting the musculature and bony structure to create freedom from the inside out is a kind of luxurious pleasure.  Not always easy, but the end result is exquisite.

Dad at 85 is a reminder to me to keep on keeping on.  My health, my body, my spirit and mind.  Mine to care for and nurture.  My responsibility.  My joy to nourish.

We can gradually drop our ideals of who we think we ought to be, or who we think we want to be, or who we think other people think we want to be or ought to be.

– Pea Chodon

Sleep broken… darn shoulders from too much paddling over the last week.  An old weight lifting injury exacerbated by having too much fun I suppose.  What’s a gal to do?  Take some aspirin, take it easy for a couple of days .. and paddle back out.

I get a kick of listening to the silver haired brigade at San Onofre share stories of aches and pains while waiting for waves.  Shoulder surgeries, back issues.  Hey, none of us 20 or 30 anymore, but the good news, none of really cares.  At least while we are surfing. What matters is the magic in the moment – the amazing joy of continued communion with the sea and her power.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.